Jealousy – is it really the Green Eyed Monster

For many people jealousy is the green eyed monster to be avoided at any cost.  But in many cultures and traditions jealousy is viewed positively as a protective shield particularly around relationships.  So how do you tell you tell the difference?  Protective jealousy recognises that relationships have vulnerabilities – a staff christmas party puts a […]

Building a Safe Relationship

Secure Relationships

One of our primary needs in a relationship is to feel safe with our partner.  A relationship where we cannot relax our guard and be ourselves is a relationship that will be desperately unhappy and will probably not survive.  Stan Tatkin, who developed PACT (the psycho-biological approach to couples therapy talks about a secure functioning […]

“I forgive you” it lasts longer than you know

I have the privilege to share something with you this week from one of my fabulous international Imago colleagues Nedra Fetterman.  This very touching story captures the ongoing and powerful legacy of forgiveness and captures intimately the graciousness and care that centres at the heart of true connection. Enjoy P.S.  you may need to click […]

Getting your man* to talk Part 2 – the secret permission

In our last post I talked about many woman prefer an Empathy first response where as men respond far better to a Validation response, “You make sense to me.”  However the first block that many women face is getting their partner to participate in a discussion at all. There is a secret permission that many […]

Getting your man to talk – How most woman get it wrong – Part 1

It’s not about the Nail is still one of my favourite short videos but I’d like to flip this topic on its head and talk about listening to men.  In my work as a marriage therapists who specialises in helping couples communicate it is pretty common for couples to enter the counselling room with an […]

The surprising relationship insights in Justin Timberlake’s mirrors song-part 2 working with complementarity

Of all the places I expect to find great relationships insights I confess Justin Timberlake was not at the top of that list. However his song Mirrors touches on a number of the most interesting and elusive themes in relationships. Last week we looked at the concept of the lost self – this week we […]

The Surprising Relationship Insights in Justin Timberlake’s Mirrors Song – Part 1 – The Lost Self

Of all the places I expect to find great relationships insights I confess Justin Timberlake was not at the top of that list. However his song Mirrors touches on one of the most interesting and elusive themes in relationships which is the concept of the lost self. In short the lost self is the part […]