Our deepest need is to know we are not alone in the universe.  To be alone, not only breaks our heart – it violates our humanity.  

ABOUT STEVEN DROMGOOL

Steven Dromgool is New Zealand’s most trained couples therapist. Trained in not 1 but 5 different specialist relationship approaches he also founded the Relate Counselling team and the Integrated Relationship Therapy approach to working with couples. Steven trains and supervises therapists both national and internationally. He is passionate about relationships, seeing them as the key to a good life, a healthy society and the most enduring part of our legacy. He also knows from personal experience that relationships can be challenging and confusing and that we were never expected to have to navigate them alone. It is his mission to make the core information about successful relationships available to all New Zealanders and to promote vibrant, loving and passionate connection as a core part of the Kiwi culture.

COUNSELLING SERVICES WITH STEVE

COUPLES COUNSELLING

At the centre of couples therapy is connection. Connected couples can work through life’s challenges and grow closer through the experience. Steven works with couples recognising the skills they already carryand helping them to build a more powerful, potent and passionate relationship or marriage by helping them rediscover their early respect and admiration. Rather than endlessly rehashing the past, the focus is on helping couples build a safe, connected and passionate future together.

AFFAIR RECOVERY

An affair can be a huge traumatic loss and betrayal that can overwhelm a couples desire to cope, connect and communicate. Steven is an affair specialist with years of experience guiding couples through this very common but difficult process.

Some key differences of working with Steven include the option for emergency appointments, and extended sessions including intensives and marathon therapy sessions.

BREAK-UP RECOVERY

Breaking up can be incredibly traumatic.

The youngest part of your brain does not differentiate between physical and psychological loss and it tends to view the break-up as the end of the world (literally).

Steven can help you process and take care of yourself so you heal faster and learn valuable life lessons in the process to avoid these challenges in the future.

COMMUNICATION COACHING

It’s not if we are talking that matters – it’s how we are talking.Most of us communicate using less than half of our total brain. Under stress this tendency increases. Steven can teach you to communicate using the whole brain. It’s calming, connecting and enjoyable – and surprisingly simple. Communication coaching is a blast and believe it or not you will learn to get excited when your partner says, “Honey we need to talk.”

SKYPE COUNSELLING

Steven offers Skype counselling for singles and couples. His office has a fast fibre connection and provided you can access a fast secure connection skype counselling can be a way to access support including when one partner is away.

If you want to try Skype counselling and you have not seen Steven before please request a callback including your skype address to see if Skype is right for you.

SEX THERAPY

Great sex leaves couples feeling connected, alive and positive about themselves and the relationship. If this is not your experience reach out for help, the sooner the better. Sexual responsiveness can be disrupted by a number of normal life events and often is relatively easily resolved. Ignoring it however is like running a car without oil painful, damaging and expensive. Having a great sex life is one of the real treats of committed relationship – invest in each other and yourself.

PRE MARRIAGE/NEW
RELATIONSHIP PREPARATION

Starting a new relationship can be very exciting and very challenging.New relationship or pre-marriage preparation is an opportunity to set yourself and your relationship up for success.

Did you know that there are a series of behaviours that predict relationship success, failure or happiness that can be picked up by a trained specialist?

Learn how to build the behaviours of success into your relationship and how to deescalate and eliminate the negative behaviours.

PARENTING THROUGH
SEPARATION

Caring for your kids through a separation process is often one of the hardest challenges for couples. While adults can choose a separation, this is not an option for children. During this time their needs for support can escalate rapidly at the very point that parents are struggling the most. Many of the challenges you are facing are predictable, working with Steven means that you do not have to continually reinvent the wheel at your children’s expense. In this work Steven takes the role of advocate for your children and will help you develop personalized plans that will help reduce massively the impact this has on them and preserve their emotional connections.

INTENSIVES AND MARATHON
THERAPY

When a crisis hits, an affair, a partner wants to leave, you are travelling in to see Steven from another part of the world or you simply want change to start immediately intensives or marathon therapy may be a good option for you.

Intensives compact a month of therapy into a day and kick-start the change process.

If you are both motivated and available Intensives or Marathon therapy may be the answer you are looking for – register for a call to discuss if this is right for you.

WHY CHOOSE STEVEN?

BENEFITS OF RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING

 LIVE LONGER

The Harvard Study, that has been running over 70 years, along with others showed a clear link between happy relationships and longevity.

REDUCE INFECTIONS

John Gottman’s research showed that you could predict (and reduce) the number of infectious illnesses participants would suffer by supporting couples to reduce contempt in their relationship.

MENTAL WELLBEING

Relationship conflict has been shown to both cause and exacerbate mental health issues and stable loving relationships have been shown to massively improve mental health conditions – particularly depression and anxiety.

LOOK BETTER

Oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) makes your hair shine and your skin glow.Cortisol (the stress hormone) makes you store fat and your skin break out.

CREATE WEALTH

Happy couples plan for the future together, don’t lose half their wealth divorcing and don’t have to use drugs, alcohol and shopping to escape their misery.

ADDICTION RECOVERY

New Research has shown that conjoint couples therapy with addiction counselling makes both processes more effective and lasting.

MORE SEX

Happy married couples generally have more sex (way more sex) than unhappy couples or singles.Additionally they are often sexually active well into their 60’s, 70’s and 80’s.

HAPPIER KIDS

Let’s face it our kids need us, kids from happy 2 parent homes do better on literally every social index of wellbeing.

HAPPIER GRAND KIDS

And the benefits keep on going.Our kids learn about relationships from us and choose partners who are relationally similar.Our grandkids grow up in that relational space.

Make your relationship awesome

If you long for a deeper, intimate and more playful connection take the step today.Couples work is rich, challenging and incredibly rewarding – take the plunge . . .